Quotes

All 118 Quotes: (show random)

ace: no the dicks go in the ace-hole.

badmacktuck: it's not science, listening to music is my favorite hobby. i take it very seriously.
starfish: if you take it so seriously why dont you make a post about it on the internet.

bbg: gio ribisi is a fuckin boner.

bbg: holy shit, i am going to MAUL my cock with those pics later tonight.

bbg: miss piggy was a raging bitch though.

bbg: she won't get the pork sword enema.

bbg: the only body modification i've ever had was getting fat.

bbg: whats the chances of getting vaginer pics on skeedz?

bean: i can't be bothered with baths... i get bored too quick.

bean: molotov? are you drinking junko?

bean: yar michael caton and paul friggin hogan.

bean: your fucking site ningnong.

bianca: ruggedly good looking men and macho talk of power tools is turning me on.

bianca: um. excuse me. mind if i interrupt? ka ching!! how do you like dem apples??

bong: don't tell him. he's gonna pick his nose with his wang.

bong: i have clothes from walmart, probably because every time i'm in walmart i grab random shit and get the hell out of there before i find myself in the gun section testing the products on myself.

bong: i'll give you the arabian goggles featuring the dick-nose.
ryguy: man, yo face look like a tape deck.

bong: the next motherfucker who asks to use my phone is gonna get my metal.

bong: this whole effort has degenerated greatly.

bong: yeah, she always asks 'wares josh' and then she calls you an arse hole.

bong: you knocked a few off the edge with your prong there.

candi: i might smoke your cock if given the chance.

candi: i prefer strokes to vibration.

candi: i'm strictly a vegetable kind of girl.

candi: stupid thing used to cut me every time I shot it.

candi: the dog finally took a crap from the medicine i gave him.

candi: when my son was 2 he told me to lick his nuts.

candi: why do I bother going into the wang thread? the wristwatch??

chryssie: damn telstra. was that an appropriate comment?

chryssie: i accidentally clicked out of the wrong box.

chryssie: what quenches the thirst of cookies better than milk?

chucky: i'm gonna try to flirt with my nutsack and a flashlight.

chucky: knock knock, who's there? it's jesus, lol.

chucky: ok i gotta go, i just tell it to heat up the equipment, and then he gets access to your mom's cooter.

daelf: not as much as your face.

daelf: we can sing 'comb bi har'.

derrick: and if the flash wakes her up it'd be an odd situation.

derrick: fuck, i'd watch a dong fight.

derrick: hair is nice and all. but i have a thing about blowing loads on a girl's face. its just hot.

derrick: i don't care to sit and think of ways to prove you wrong.

derrick: i hate that kid.

derrick: i never knew n.w.a. stood for 'niggas with attitude' until today.

derrick: i tried to send chanserv a picture of a naked dead girl. haha.

derrick: i'd rather blow a load on her forehead while she's asleep.

derrick: i'm about to fucking murder myself over this fly that I cannot seem to kill.

derrick: i'm trying to get my junk knocked around.

derrick: nobody can pull off a pink tutu in public.

derrick: sometimes i get up and rub one out before work.

derrick: take a picture of you showing your dong to the kids.

derrick: this video isn't really wanking material.

derrick: ugh, i hate when i cough and the tiniest bit of saliva goes on the computer monitor.

derrick: your sperm is rotten.

ephem is now known as ephem|palming
lonewolf: dude! too much info!
ephem|palming: argh! i knew one of you would say that
ephem|palming is now known as ephem|3comPalmIIIe
ephem|3comPalmIIIe: that is better
ephem|3comPalmIIIe: it is my pda

ephem: all the action happens here, that's why i'm a fuckin' porch monkey.

ephem: bow before me, for i am root.

ephem: i could give josh a run for his geeky money.

ephem: i like doing more of the back-end stuff though.

ephem: josie. gnomes have holes in the bottom.

ephem: you're blowing smoke up my arse aren't you.

joshx: deze wiettoppen zijn knettergoed.

joshx: ground control to major pork.

josie: if a squirrel invaded my room, i think i'd just throw him a nut.

josie: my aids was acting up yesterday. awful.

josie: raunch.

josie: you're goddamn right i'm recognized, chanserv.

josie: your 20 is stuck between your cheeks.

junko: anyone said carmen?

junko: bean, would you suck me off if i take the plane to oz now?

junko: ephem, you there moite?

junko: i want to kill my neighbour's frogs.

junko: i'm gonna comb my cat.

lenny: believe it or not i used to do a lot of drugs.

lenny: give me some skeedz so diz i can turn dat shit funkway.

lenny: should i push dem fullz down fo day skeedz? deez skeedz bams is da dank.

lenny: so should i beet diz punk ass bitch like a nakzied midget bitch an get my skeedz back?

lonewolf: internet exploder smokes teh pole!

marie: i just don't want it on my face.

marie: i think derrick might need some glue cuz he just got broke.

mark: but seriously dude don't rub your boner on people, it's just not cool.

mark: the jewels on the lampshades are off the pork.

ryguy: barker gets mad trim.

samie: for werd.

samie: man. if the daily grind stuff bothers you now, i'd quit while you're ahead and just off yourself.

saul: now i know i didn't want to know either. thank fuck i didn't google image it like i did with 'felching'.

saul: very elegant language, for a wombat shagger.

saul: what language did you just slip into? i type creamsicle and fudgesicle into babelfish and it said... "to wander aimlessly amongst the toast and pigeons."

sharps: a perk? you callin me a perv? how is that even related to sucking doors?

shylo: all use are talking about is stupid shit.

shylo: r u deaf as well as dumb and stupid?

shylo: use r arseholes.

shylo: what is n e 1 talking?

shylo: what u 2 pecker heads on about.

starfish: the only thing im getting out of college is a loose anus.

starfish: this thread is highly offensive and i demand that all of us be permanently banned.

starfish: ugh the whole apartment smells like fuckin burgers whats with my roommates and makin fuckin burgers all day???

starfish: urine goes all over the place. just think about that.

starfish: www.dodgydvdsoftware.com/virus.exe
joshx: damn i wish i didn't click that.
wayne: i can't understand why anyone would.

tim: vaginer.

troy: derrick, i think the only thing that can help you now is nude pics of me.

troy: i feel like all of my energy has been stolen from me and i'm like a big limp penis dangling over my keyboard.

troy: i wanna rub crisco on gary coleman's head and wish for a watermelon.

troy: we should make derrick a superhero suit called "captain obvious".

wayne: 70% chance of gundams today.

wayne: 8Ball is my wang too big?

wayne: back. had to reunite the cosby family.

wayne: do yourself a favor and pay no mind to my internet security.

wayne: does anyone know if there is a way to snap a pic of your log-in screen?
joshx: digi-cam. :)
wayne: bah. and why don't i print out a copy of the picture, scan that, fax it to myself, and then run it through an ascii generator before posting it? caveman.

wayne: facebook is for industrious, networking, status-symbol-brandishing twats.

wayne: he'll sneak up on your thirst and go straight for the buho.

wayne: i got my windmill dutched up earlier, and i dropped my clogs right on her tulips. werd life.

wayne: i know a girl who can't wear underwear because they make her cooch turn into a bread factory.

wayne: i'm gonna kick that dcc motherfucker right in the gruntbag.

wayne: oh, snap. clockwerd ownage.

wayne: on the moon, people who complain get spanked with moonrocks.

wayne: sqeedley worm babies.

wayne: the doctor spent an inordinate amount of time investigating the suction-cup marks on derrick's taint.

wayne: threads like this make me want to explode your heads.

wayne: you're such a bunch of squares.
ryguy: if by squares you mean somebody with an operational mine and slight sense of taste, then i agree.
bong: and what do you harvest from this operational mine?